Truthfully speaking, I’ve been dealing with weight issues for almost 10 years.
I remember putting on a tremendous amount of weight when I turned 14. I blame it on nonstop snacking and puberty. I moved away to the West(while my school was in the eastern part of Singapore) and had to endure long bus journeys to and fro school. And what did I do to ‘entertain’ myself on board the bus? I snacked! From biscuits to curry puffs to cakes and sweet drinks. Tsk tsk…
I was like a round ball when I was in sec 4.
Things didn’t improve when I entered JC. Infact, I could never resist the cheap 70 cents beehoon and ‘in-do-ji’ or Fried Chicken from the indian store(right Peiwen?). And yes, I had the mentality that food should never be wasted, and made sure that I finish everything on my plate.
I got comments from certain friends about my rolly polly size but I guess, with my size, came my personality. I guess, my personality made up for my size. I was out-going and made friends easily. I was always cheerful and laughing. So, life wasn’t that depressing for me.
Don’t get me wrong, I was very affected by my size. I was a young girl. Had big dreams about having a relationship with the opposite sex…etc etc… And so, I felt terrible about how I looked. Throw in a terrible hairstyle. Gosh.
At my fattest, I was UK size 14-16. My jeans were a size 32! Wow. (yes V, I can picture your horrid face now…)
And then came the bout of Dengue.
I call it a blessing in disguise.
Didn’t eat for a week. My hip bones were so sore by the time I recovered because I kept lying down…
From there on, I went on a low-carb diet. Watched what I ate and exercised(but not frequently).
At one stage, I was eating only a tablespoon of rice for dinner. My mum used to tell everyone: She puts 2 tablespoons of rice on her plate, but only eats 1 tablespoon and throws the other tablespoon away. She eats lesser than Rufus(the dog!)!
In everyone’s eyes, I seemed to be turning into an aneroxic. Infact, till date, I still get this nonsense(that I’m aneroxic) and that I should eat more. Well, let me tell you that I am not. I love my food too much to be aneroxic.
After months of a low carb diet, I lost a significant amount of weight. And I began to slowly increase carbs back into my diet.
However, in the past few months, (esp since I returned from the States), I began to put back some weight(I suspect because I tend to indulge myself more often and eat a little more esp when out with friends.).
Horror of horrors lah!
I refuse to return to being round! Yes, I wanna be in shape(and yes, I know, round IS a shape but I don’t like being round!).
Why can’t I have a nice figure? Nice shapely legs and arms, fat-less tummy and hips. Grrrr… Ok. And so, I’m influenced by the media, the society. That thin is good. And it doesn’t help that Asian girls are super small. And so, sometimes, I feel like a dinosaur next to some petite and skinny girl. (It looks like this whole blog post brings the whole problem back to my self-esteem problems huh?)
My BMI is now 20. Yes, I know. Its in the healthy range. But I feel fat.. I’m probably gonna get slapped by a trout by some random bigger-sized girl…
Sat evenings are kept aside for runs with V. And I try to run on Mon morns too. And I’m trying my best to keep sugar away from me. And I drink green tea everyday! And gosh. I look at the nutritional chart behind all the food now! Talk about being healthy! But I’m not losing the pounds.
I contemplated taking pills which increase metabolism rate(cos mine is pathetically low), but I got a ’scolding’ from someone.
And so, I didn’t buy them.
Haha… one of my motivations for being slim and trim, is to be able to wear sleeveless clothes!
I’m sure many of my friends would have noticed. I seldom wear sleeveless clothings because I am extremely conscious of my how fat I look in sleeveless clothes!
Gosh, there are so many pretty clothings out there and they are often sleeveless because of our all-year-round summer weather. Bleh.
I have another hidden motivation. haha… :) But I bet if I reveal it, everyone will laugh. haha… And so, I shall just put it down partially. **s **c* t* **v* **y* **k* **t*** *f m*! (hahaha… doesn’t it look like I’m scolding some really vulgar words?)
Oh well… so much for my weight issues.
——
Exams are in a week! *Gasps* Ahhhhhhhh!